November 2021--You work pretty much your whole life and then reach an age where you are ready to call it a day, turn in your keys, hang up your hat, clean out your desk. Whatever you call it, most people know it as retirement.
There is a lot that keeps you busy in the beginning. If you’re downsizing—that in itself is another full-time job. But if you’re not planning a move, there are all those projects you were meaning to get to but didn’t or couldn’t because you just didn’t have the time.
So, you get out the hammer and nails to hang those pictures that have just been leaning up against the wall. You goop on some WD40—voila—the squeak in the door squeaks no more. You load up some boxes with things you haven’t touched in years and drop them at a donation center, get some estimates to have the chimney repaired and you spend an afternoon sweeping off the salt stains from the garage floor—just in time for new stains. You plant some new bushes to replace the ones that died years ago and clean out the many junk drawers in your kitchen.
You curl up with a good book—the one you’ve been meaning to read, phone a friend—the one you’ve been meaning to call, and you watch a movie you recorded months earlier—the one you’ve been meaning to watch.
You catch up with friends—lunch at a favorite spot, dinner at a new place you’ve been wanting to try or a long walk that affords an opportunity to engage in meaningful conversation.
You now have more family time—with your significant other, your children and your grandchildren and you relish those moments. You volunteer for a local service organization and you’re enjoying it.
Each time you can cross off something from your list you’ve been meaning to do you find it gratifying. Each time you spend hours laughing with family and friends you find it gratifying. Each time you give of your time to help others you find it gratifying.
But something is nagging in your brain. And you start to think you’d like to have a job again. Not necessarily full-time and not necessarily something that requires you to lean on past experiences or your degree, but this time something out of the ordinary—maybe even a little quirky and fun. Not to say your other jobs haven’t been fun—or that they didn’t have some quirks, but something you would have never seen yourself doing.
There are a lot of places hiring people right now and I was absolutely delighted to see there are a number of jobs out there that fall perfectly into the fun and quirky category.
Candy dipper. Yup—your main role is to make sure all the goodies like peanuts, caramels and such are properly dipped in chocolate before being packaged for customer consumption. This kind of reminded me of an episode of I Love Lucy. Right? Sounds pretty sweet, eh?
Online dating ghostwriter. I always thought people wrote their own profiles for those online dating sites. I’m sure a lot do. But there’s actually a market out there for people who have writing skills and can get just witty and clever enough to pique a potential date’s curiosity.
Traffic flagger. In this job, you control traffic flow with stop and slow down paddles and help to set up safe work zones. The ad says: “Be a hero in a hard hat.” We’ve all seen the traffic flaggers out there. The ones I’ve seen, however, don’t seem to be enjoying their jobs. I usually smile as I slowly creep past them in my car and tell them thanks. No one, not one of them, has ever smiled back or even nodded. Now if I were a traffic flagger I’d sing, smile, and wave to people as they growl because they’ve been stopped in traffic—you know a little payback for disrupting their travel. Maybe if I did that, people still would complain and I wouldn’t be employed for long. ;)
Nail polish namer. We’ve all—ok, so maybe not all—seen cute ‘n clever names for nail polishes. Some companies leave naming rights to the executives, while other companies lean on their marketing people to create catchy names. I’ve actually laughed out loud in stores while reading the names on the bottles of some polishes. Now this is something I think I could probably nail (no pun intended)!
Professional Pusher. This is a real job. No really, it is. (It has nothing to do with drugs.) They hire professional pushers in Japan. Their main role is to push people onto trains so no one is late for work. I’m not sure I’m up for this kind of daily commute—12.5 hours by plane each way--so I just may have to pass on it. But then again, maybe I could talk to some mayors in metropolitan areas to see if they’d be interested in hiring me. (Lori, you listening?)
Professional Stand-in-Liner. In many parts of the world, people hire Narabiyas—Japanese for stand-in-liners—to keep busy people doing what keeps them busy while you just stand in line for them. For this job, I’d need some really good shoes, right? (Guess I’d have to toss the Crocs.)
Furniture tester. Thanks to access to a lot of lumber, there are several furniture manufacturers a little closer to home, but still a bit of a commute from my house. These companies hire testers to make sure sofas, chairs and more are comfy for the consumer. Here’s where you could probably cross several things off your list—curl up on the couch with a book or rock it in the recliner while talking on the phone.
Candy tosser. There haven’t been many parades lately but they’re starting to make a comeback so maybe they’re looking for people to toss candy to the crowds. It reminds me of the time a very special young lady told me when she was young after watching the St. Patrick’s Day parade in Chicago “this is what I want to do.” I questioned her immediately because I really had no idea what “this” was…..and she told me she wanted to be the person who throws the candy to all the kids at parades. Ah, maybe she was onto something!
Duck master. Unless the current duck master is ready to retire, there’s no way I or anyone else could get this job because no one leaves the famous Peabody Hotel in Memphis. The first duck master held the job for 50 years! It was his responsibility to lead five ducks through the lobby and into the fountain twice a day. The newest duck master just started in 2012. I can cross this off my potential list of places to seek a job—but it sounds like it sure would be fun—and it definitely is a little quirky.
Well, looks like I have some thinking to do. Not sure if I should brush up on my “quacking skills,” get a paddle and practice waving it or try covering some peanuts in chocolate to see if I can do it without eating ‘em.
Not sure if I’d pass the test on anything I’ve listed but it sure was fun thinking about a new career. For the time being, I’ll focus on being a dog walker since it looks like my pup is wanting a little time outside. I’ll just have to
take it one day at a time…
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