November 2020--I know there's a lot going on in the world right now. I'm not ignoring it. I'm just trying to focus on other things at this time. Not saying anything is more important or less important--just realizing I very much need to take care of some tasks as hand. And that's cleaning out my house. Yup, still at it.
I feel like I should be singing one of Neil Sedaka’s greatest hits, except with a few lyric changes. Sing along with me…..“They say that cleaning out is hard to do. Now I know, I know that it’s true.”
As I continue to empty closets, drawers and rooms in our house, I look back at how I didn’t think it would be a big deal. Turns out it is a very big deal.
I’ve been sidetracked so much thanks in part to things I’ve come across—a lock of hair from the first hair cut of one of my sons, a photo of me in high school with our foreign exchange student from Brazil, an autograph book fellow eighth graders signed, a parting gift from a coworker when I left a municipality I was working for, and the list goes on.
This is but a small sampling of why it’s taking me so long to clean out the house. A house we’ve lived in since 1987. A house we’ve raised three kids in and a house that has always had an open door for anyone and everyone. A house and its contents--my journey, my story.
Enter stage left: GUILT. When I come across a gift from long ago, do I keep it and move it to the next house? Do I give it to the local second-hand shop to let them sell it? Do I toss it? I shudder at the thought of tossing it. Someone took the time to pick out that gift and it has brought me much joy. <insert guilt>
If it’s something I know I can still use, it’s getting packed. But, if it’s something I’m not sure where to put or that we don’t use anymore, is this terrible that I wouldn’t take it with me? <insert more guilt> There’s only so much room and so much space to keep things stored or displayed. So I rationalize how there’s just no room. Then I think about the joy the item gave me and I start to feel bad that I am even considering no longer keeping it. <insert still more guilt>
It’s amazing all the emotions flooding my head while I chip away at 33-plus years under the same roof. Happiness. Sadness. Anxiety. Excitement. All the good feels. All the bad feels.
If I’ve learned anything it’s that you should try to keep your emotions in check. Here are some rules I found to help accomplish this.
Rule #1: Don’t react. I need to just go through everything with a stoic sentiment.
Rule #2: Accept, rather than resist. It’s time to realize most things will have to go. And I need to stop starting new boxes of things I’ll take with me.
Rule #3: Choose a different perspective. I will think of the joy some of these things could bring to someone else.
Rule #4: Let it go. Step away from the item.
Rule #5 Be grateful. I’ll treasure the many moments of joy I received from these things.
I’ve always been grateful for many reasons. One is I’ve have had the ability to make my own choices and live with the success they brought and take responsibility for the consequences.
I decided to choose a different perspective. With that came an idea—a way to keep something--kind of--and enjoy the memories for the rest of my life while at the same time, let it go. This could quite possibly be all of the above and all at the same time.
Starting with my next go-around of “un-filling” what has filled up this house, I will still take a moment to enjoy a particular item—be it a beautiful vase, an aromatic candle or a colorful figurine. Then before I carefully wrap it for a proper send off, I'll write a note about the item, like where I got it and when I got it and from whom--place the note next to the item and snap a photo.
I’ll create a file for my photos and simply call it: “Life’s Treasures.”
And, I'll look forward to quiet moments of swiping through the photos and reliving those memories.
Some will make me smile. Some will make me tear up.
But they all will make me be grateful for life’s treasures.
Take it one day at a time...
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