Being a dog mom has its moments

by jodi marneris

November 2022--I didn’t want a puppy. I love dogs--but when we lost our last one—a beloved Chesapeake Bay Retriever, I just didn’t want to go through the pain again of losing a pet. We compromised. Said we’d wait until we both retired and then we’d get a new pup. Maybe two.

Sometimes things don’t work out the way you planned. Who am I kidding? A lot of times things don’t work out the way you planned. In this instance, it wasn’t part of the plan—at least on my end—but soon there was this adorable, bouncy Fox Red Lab…and he was calling my home his home, too.

Love at first sight?

I’ll admit the first night I was excited. He was adorable. And there’s nothing like those sloppy kisses. But it didn’t take long for reality to set in. He was and still is a big responsibility. I started to become resentful. I wasn’t the one who wanted him, yet I felt that I had the overwhelming amount of responsibility. I worked closer to home so it became my daily routine to forego running errands at lunchtime or joining friends for a meal and instead go home to let him out. Alone time was out of the question. I could hear his little pitter-patter on the wood floors following my every move.

We’d buy him chew toys but inevitably he found his way to my slippers, or a pair of shoes, a box from a recent delivery and even a used tissue from the garbage can. When I’d tell my other half how he chewed up my shoe, he’d respond with a rather sweet voice--as he’d stare at the dog-- “Oh, did you go into the closet? Shame on you.”

That was his way of saying my shoes should have been put away. I’ll give you that. But sometimes—ok, most of the time—I’d kick them off by the couch or near the door. And there they would stay until I needed to put them on. Sometimes they were right where I left them and sometimes I’d have get them out of the pooch’s clutches.

There were some days I just wanted to be alone. I wanted to sit and read a book without slobber on the pages. But I'd have this four-legged fur ball jumping up on the couch to sit on my lap or follow me from room to room. Or stepping on my toes. He did that a lot and he still does.

Growing on me

Ramey has been with us for almost four years now. A lot hasn’t changed, but a lot has. Oh, he still prefers chewing on an emery board and trying to get the cap off a plastic water bottle to the bones and other toys we’ve purchased for him, but he’s sitting still a little more. He wasn’t cuddly in the beginning. He is now. Sometimes he's overboard in the cuddly department.

He listens better. He knows he’s not allowed on the furniture or upstairs in our old house as I was trying to limit the amount of dog hair to specific locations. But occasionally if I forgot to close the gate, I would hear his paws as he rummaged through the upstairs bedrooms. I’d call his name and he would come running down. Tail between his legs and all. I used to have to tell him six times to get down off the couch. Then it became just three. I call that progress.

There also are mornings I’d love nothing more than to sleep in. There’s no such thing when you have a dog. And when it’s nice and quiet sometimes during the day the silence is broken with a large and ferocious sounding bark. The nerve of the neighbor kids riding their bikes down the sidewalk past our home. And as the day went on, I'd have to stop what I was doing to go clean his paws--and the floor.

Oftentimes, when I was still working, he’d start barking right when I was doing a phone interview. Or, when I’d have a Zoom meeting, he’d put his paws on the table and his face would fill the camera screen. He mastered at an early age the art of counter surfing. Nothing is safe from him—especially if it’s on the counter. So many times when I walked out of the room I would hear his paws hit the counter and the sniffing sound as he searched along the counters for an afternoon treat.

Now at almost four years old, he still follows me into the kitchen—it’s amazing how he can hear a wrapper crinkle even if he’s in a sound sleep in another room—but instead of jumping up to the counter, he sits patiently waiting for me to drop something. I call that progress, too.

We have taken many long road trips--11 hours or so to be exact--with him in the back seat. I’ll admit I’ve been pleasantly surprised. I wanted to board him the first time. I thought we had too much work to do to have the additional responsibilities of having a pet with us. I was wrong. He was wonderful during the car ride and even better during the trip.

Dogs are funny creatures. But they are also so loving. He's always so happy to see me. Even if I just walk out to get the mail and come right back in--so excited that you would have thought I was gone for hours—or even days. Now at almost four years old, he’s much calmer—well, at least until a bird decides to fly past our window or a squirrel runs up one of our trees. If I’m sitting on the sofa reading, he still loves to lay on my feet. Not at my feet—but on them. I guess this way he’ll know if I get up. Because, you know, he’ll need to follow me.

The resentment is long, long gone. He’s a true joy and many days has me laughing with some of the crazy things he does—like when he comes in from being outside and decides to zoom from room to room and sometimes just run around in circles. When he does it while my young grandchildren are here, they laugh and call him "Crazy Ramey." He totally is loving living on a beach with the water and the sand. It's difficult, if not impossible, to keep him out of either.

If you had told me four years ago I’d be happy to be a pet owner again, I would have strongly disagreed with you. I didn’t think I was ready to begin to love another dog.

A lot has changed. I've learned a lot--like I really was more than ready to love another pet. I can’t imagine going through the health challenges I’ve had over the past years without him being at my side (or on my feet).

I've also begun to be accustomed to being a dog mom again and realizing again with a pet in the house you always need to take it one day at a time....